A good friend of mine and fellow blogger SS over at “Land of the not so calm” recently wrote a post in memory of the Virginia Tech shootings, found here. The post itself and link to Jason Lim’s article made me think of what is has been like and what is it like to be an Asian American man.

Being a Korean American or in more general terms an Asian American is to toil alone, contributing silently to this land of “freedom”. From my most humble of opinions and my observations of what is is like to be part of arguably such a large component of this society, we are subjected to some of the sharpest of thorns when it comes to racism.

Racism towards Asian’s is everywhere, even in my beloved game of Baseball. Just look at what they are doing to in Chi-Town to “celebrate” the arrival of Japanese super star Fukodome. It’s bloody disgraceful the slings and arrows we endure in the country. Yet we toil on in relative silence. Because hey thats what we do.

We are the slant eyed, nerdy, not so well endowed, math geeks. We are agreeable, humble, and eager to please. We don’t speak up, we are assumed to speak all Asian languages, and can read all sort of Asian characters. We are not good enough to date white women, love video games, and well all read Manga. We are bad at sports and prefer studying over partying, and can’t for the life of us dance. We can’t hold out booze and we all know some sort of martial arts.

This is what it means to be a man of Asian decent living in America. However the worst part of all of this is that white America has no clue the difficulty we endure with having to live with these stereotypes. Its not acceptable to assume that all black people like chicken and waffles and deal crack. Yet its easy enough to say that Asian men will happily help you with your math homework, fix your computer, and interpret what the women at the nail salon are really saying about you. It is acceptable to assume that I of Korean decent am the same as my co-worker who is Laotian because hey we all look alike.

I look at the young man who decided he was too alone and too out casted to go on living in this brutal society and I weep. I shed tears because I know how hard it is to listen to wise cracks about how small it is or how we manage to see from those tiny slits. Well it’s not small and I see just fine thank you. Lest we forget the kama sutra was invented over there, so take that all you jokesters who think we can please women. I myself do no condone what he did. Taking life is never acceptable, but I can see where his head was at. To feel so isolated and so rejected by the rest of this great society. This is to be on an island that many have tread upon, yet so few have come back from and documented. So little is known in our society about the strife and tribulations we endure.

Well I am right well fed up with this. Having to sit idly silent and absorb the cuts and bruises. No longer will I just laugh off your jokes and comments or hang my head and walk away. This is my home and this is my culture you are pissing on and I wont have it anymore.

So next time we are ordering take out and you ask me whats good, my only reply will be……. Try the sesame chicken you fat ignorant cunt.

I know this post is very mercurial. However i find it increasingly difficult to map and understand these feeling regarding Asian American identity. this post has been in the wings for a few weeks now and I figured I should just throw whatever I had together and get it out there. So there may feel a lack of fluency, but like I said I am still working it out.